Having to part ways with a sister of mine was not what I was ready for. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I wasn’t ready for our paths to part so soon.

My Dearest Sister Kari

I think of you every day. I trust that you have found peace. I trust that you have joined our mom in the next life. I trust that you have found your rest.

Early November I was informed that my sister was on life support. Her heart stopped. She went too long without oxygen and the injury she sustained was not compatible with life. We were at her bedside for three weeks hopeful that she could make a decent recovery but there were only signs of deterioration. We sat with Kari and we talked to her. We were there when medical staff took her off life support. We said our goodbye’s and I was there holding her hand when she breathed her last and transitioned from her physical body.

When the sky falls

When I was little I used to be so afraid of thunder and lightening. I never did ever like thunder and lightning. When I was little however, I was deathly afraid. I would crawl into my parents bed until they started saying no. And when my parents started to say no I then ran downstairs to my sister’s room. I would run back and forth shaking both my sister’s, “kelli kelli, the sky is falling, can I sleep in your bed?” and then, “Kari Kari, the sky is falling, can I sleep in your bed?” It was inevitable that my sister’s would eventually say no. Kari, was the last to say no but in my defense, at that age I really did think the sky was falling lol We had the most magnificent meteor shower that night. It was spectacular. I have never seen anything of the like since. Not my fault if I was raised with these wild and crazy stories like Chicken Little.

The story of Henny Penny Chicken Little

Chicken Little is a European folk tale that centers upon this little chicken who believes that the world is coming to an end. The phrase “The Sky is Falling” is a prominent part of the story. And when you learn about this story and you learn about the prophesied 2nd coming of Christ, if you see stuff falling from the sky and not know what it is, you too would be very afraid. So in my defense, I am on the Autistic Spectrum and kind of believed in some way shape or form that one day in my lifetime the sky will literally fall from heaven. I was waiting to meet Jesus in the sky that night.

Alas! I am still here and the sky didn’t fall.

Sometimes it really does feel like the sky is falling, or the foundation that you have been standing on all this time is giving way. Sometimes it feels like this grief will swallow you whole and there is nowhere for you to go. Then sometimes you laugh, enjoy the moment, and then feel guilty about it. This is grief! One day we will find our new normal and embrace life again.

I will forever miss you Kari. I will never forget who you are, who you were.

I will find a way to take you with me wherever I go.